fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
