Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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