Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
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