On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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