I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
