Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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