Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Randomize