a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
