My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
