i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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