We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
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