Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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