why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize