Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
