I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
