I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I accidentally burped into my bong.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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