we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
