"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
