Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
