I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
