It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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