And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
