I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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