Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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