real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Randomize