My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
