So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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