We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
