The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
