Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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