I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
