dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
no, he came in my armpit
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
