last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize