Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
