Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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