I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
