It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
