I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
