I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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