the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize