your thong is hanging out like whoa
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
