My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
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Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
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Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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