Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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