i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
