people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
