hotel room ftw
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
