my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
The best revenge is premature balding
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
