Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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