the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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