the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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