youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
