She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
