the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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