yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
