Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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