these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
