Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
