weddingsv make me drug and hornr
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Randomize
