I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize