you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
