In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
