don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize