so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Green mimosas i think yes
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
