This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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