He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
