You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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