God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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